It’s funny how often feedback on Surfsouthoz filters back through friends and acquaintances. Most recently, a mate related a conversation he’d had with two friends who were bemoaning the much maligned “shred factor” quoted in every daily report. One was heard to say “how could they call today a 4? It wasn’t even a 2!”, the other stating that a recent trip to the South Coast yielded a “9” based on the tubefest he’d had at pumping Waits… when the South Coast report gave the day a mere 7. Amidst all this angst about an arbitrary rating, often applied on a whim, and often at a mentally foggy hour of the morning, I decided it was high time you got some sort of explanation.

20-5-08: A very good day at Bullies, but all time? We gave it a 9

Let me start by saying that the shred factor is bollocks.

OK, I’m aware you’re now reeling in disbelief that this most holy of qualitative measurements is not held in the highest regard, but it’s the truth. The fact is, that waaaaay back in the dark distant past, many punters asked… nay… demanded… that we place such a rating at the end of each report. I personally resisted this for quite a while, because frankly, I couldn’t see the point. “How can you condense all those variables… swell size… wind velocity and direction… bank quality… and weather for a start… into one single number?” I’d groan. Then there was the issue of the subjectivity of the whole thing. A mild mannered longboarder might rate a glassy 3 foot day at Day St a 9/10… but your barrel-starved hardcore shortboarder would laugh out loud at the suggestion it was worth more than a 3. To me the whole idea sounded like a minefield that had to be tip-toed through each and every day come rain, hail, or shine.

When surfsouthoz began doing daily SA reports ( well, Fleurieu Peninsula reports if you want to be pernickety ) for Coastalwatch.com a few years ago, the /10 rating became unavoidable… and it’s been here ever since. Sometimes it’s a pretty straightforward affair… especially around week 4 of that November / December SE wind cursed flat spell we have each year. Other times though, it seems like the rating requires numerous caveats, disclaimers and qualifications… if not constant revision!

At sunrise… 7/10…but by 11am May 5 had delivered the biggest, cleanest swell of 2008  

In light of such complexity and broad interpretation, here is a rough guide for the Shred Factor.

0 – Not given out very often, but if there’s no waves whatsoever and no chance of any appearing anywhere that day, it scores nada.

1 – A one is a token rating that really means conditions are to all intents, unsurfable. This may be because of lack of swell, or weather… or both.

2 – Micro Groms or gigantic Mals may be able to get something on a “2” day… but 95% of surfers probably wouldn’t bother.

3 – Probably about the minimum rating a stormy would get if it was small, or a big sloppy swell on the South Coast with strong South winds. About 50% of surfers could get waves on a “3” day.

4 – Tiny days on the Mid Coast and onshore days at Victor get 4’s.

5 – Small and inconsistent or bigger onshore days on the Mid Coast, nominally surfable onshore or near flat days at Victor get 5’s.

6 – Something’s not quite right… but you’ll probably get a wave. It might be inconsistent, cross-shore, too lumpy, or too full.

7 – Don’t blow off work, but if you were in two minds about a trip, go. Days like this can improve… or suddenly get worse.

8 – Days that are not all-time, but pretty fun nonetheless. The South Coast scored almost 2 straight weeks of 8’s in June this year, when swell ranged 3 – 5′ and offshore N – NW winds ranged between 5 and 15 knots the whole time.

9 – Probably about half a dozen days a year would pull a nine, in fact, in some cases it might mark the best day of the year.

10 – You cannot get better. Picture a day with brilliant weather and pumping swell all day, the likes of which you haven’t seen in years. Almost a freak event.

Some perspective. Pondie in Feb 2004… one of many, many similar days.

When all’s said and done, the shred factor is for lazy people… and basing your decision on where or when to surf on it is not recommended. The best thing you can do is learn to benchmark your ratings against the size and quality ratings given in the reports, and make your calls based on that.

There is also another, insane, revolutionary approach.

Just go.

It’s hard to say if it was the drizzly, overcast weather, or cautious swell forecasts in the wake of repeated disappointment that kept the masses at bay on the morning of Sunday March 7. While many slumbered warm in bed, sobering up and shaking off the after effects of long weekend binge drinking, West facing surf breaks across the state awoke to the ocean’s first pulses.

By sunrise some of the new WSW swell had found its way into the Gulf of St. Vincent, and for the first time in months glassy shoulder high waves were unloading onto reefs and beaches along the fickle Mid Coast. The main beneficiary of the first hour or so of incoming tide appeared to be 3 Poles, with only a handful out there at dawn and the thought of duckdiving obviously a bit much for many hardcore regulars. Big sets that peeled left and right out front of the stinkpipe closed out Anzacs and broke wide at U-Turns, while trickling lazily through Seaford. By 7:30am The Trough had earned a crowd typical of weekends or any day it gets bigger than one foot, but there were plenty of less populated and better options.

Up at South Port, the swell of the year had managed to coincide with the Senior Surf Lifesaving state titles, and more than half the beach was roped off as a contest area. Rumour has it organsiers applied to Onkaparinga City Council close the entire beach to non-competitors – but didn’t feel any one that surfed was important enough to be told. Given the heavy-handedness with which such “rules” have been enforced in past years, it’s surprising that next to no tales of confrontation arose. It was fortuitous that the best waves rolled through the left hander at the Rivermouth between 7 and 8am before the event, the bliss of uncrowded shoulder high walls only interrupted occasionally by the champ on the P.A. System calling for “loud inhalers”. Sadly, nobody got to enjoy waves at The Hump or Ray’s Right ( AKA the Mid Coast Superbank ) through low tide on the biggest day both breaks have seen in months.

Offshore ESE winds persisted all day courtesy of a slow moving low pressure system, and saw rarely surfed spots like Snakes get a guernsey – alongside lesser known spots further down the peninsula. The swell did fade during the morning as the tide drained out, but the incoming tide delivered a brief pulse to selected spots between Hallett Cove and Willunga. By late afternoon conditions were not a patch on the dawn delight, but still rewarding enough for the last platoon of wave starved troops to plunder. The early hours of Monday morning brought a gusty SW change, destroying all evidence of Autumn’s first swell with 30 knot squalls and chopped up seas. It was a slap in the face for eternal optimists hoping for a re-run of the previous day, and a reminder that days like that are all too few and far between.

After being in renovation mode for almost 9 months, not one, not two, but in fact three banks have formed at South Port to the delight of holidayers and schoolies alike. Ray’s right ( dubiuosly named after Ray Palmer’s interview last year in the local rag concerning the flusing of the Onkaparinga Estury, and the liklihood of banks forming )   has drawn outrageous crowds on the smallest of swells, especially on weekends. The Rivermouth has also been busy, but these distractions seem to have drawn attention away from the fickle left hander at The Hump. It seems the grinding beachy needs nothing short of multi-planetary alignment to actually work, but for just a few hours today it delivered some fun, glassy waves to a small handful of mostly local crew.

Here’s a few pics from that session, when for just a couple of hours, it all came together.

After a cold, inconsistent October and a virtually flat, hot November, Spring 2009 went out with a bang on the fickle Mid Coast. An 8 week flat spell came to an abrupt end last Saturday, as gale force Westerly winds whipped up the normally lazy waters of St. Vincent’s gulf. The day started out a good size, but with onshore gusts over 30 knots even the kite crew were conspicuous in their absence. As the day wore on the stormy conditions just got bigger and bigger, and Adelaide’s worst kept secret spot, Myponga, was predictably chokkers most of the day. The heavy conditions and razor sharp jump off claimed its fair share of casualties, bruising plenty of bodies and battering even more boards.

The big swell and storm surge managed to push a fair way up the gulf, delivering rare head-high surf to metro beaches from Brighton to Grange, and 10,000 fresh coconuts to Henley. Glen Duncan, semi-retired Nasty surfboards proprietor was out among the handful of keen locals bobbing around off the end of the Henley jetty, and photog Robert Rath managed to snap off his last wave of the session. Robert is an accomplished underwater photographer with impressive portfolio spanning several years, largely shot in South Australian waters. By his own admission he’s not a surf photographer, but reckons it was “fun to try something different” on a day when diving was out of the question. We think you’d agree - the water based images give a rarely seen perspective of an Adelaide Metro beach stormy.

Check out more of Robert’s fantastic underwater gallery at http://robertrath.com

Talk to any South Ozzie surfer and they’ll have a story of an epic session somewhere along the ten odd km of coast South-East of Middleton. You’ll  hear about the 5 second tube they got inside Drib’s Bay, the 200m long right hander they snagged off the Grassy Knoll on a  six foot day, or the insanely perfect bank that appeared at Goolwa one day - only to vanish the very next. Then there’s the tales of the Murray Mouth, and the longest rides ever experienced on the South Fleurieu Coast. Nostalgic ramblings recounting the sheer perfection and consistency of those months in 1989 will invariably be followed by a disheveled sigh, and a downcast shake of the head.

A sensible, well traveled surfer will call bullshit on such stories… and with good reason.

For a start, the gentle incline of the long stretch of beach breaks that span Day St., Surfer’s, Cliffs
and Goolwa slowly dissipates the vast majority of the surf’s power. The Coastline is actually very exposed to South swells, but by the time they get within 250m of the beach they have lost much of their punch.  Of course… South swell is not always on offer, and the more Westerly in direction the swell swings, the more of it rolls right past Middleton and Goolwa without stopping. Then there’s the wind. Anything from ESE ’round to SW is onshore pretty much everywhere, and many years have been cursed with virtually non stop sou-easters from the October long weekend until Xmas. Even the lightest of these will reduce the most perfectly aligned and organised swell to  a dribbly series of unconnected peaks, near impossible to ride for more than ten meters.

Then there’s the dreaded weed. Storms can dump mountains of it along the beach for kilometers – where it sits for weeks rotting and giving off an ungodly reek. If you’re really lucky, the weed will be accompanied by the mysterious “brown tide”, which turns an otherwise pleasant lineup into something resembling a gigantic wavepool filled with Coca Cola froth. These two elements seem to react chemically and bond at a molecular level with the neoprene in your wetsuit. It will never smell the same. Ever.

Even under the dream scenario of a run of offshore N – NW winds in summer, and a series of south swells, things can still go horribly wrong. 2 – 3′ waves will stand up as they approach you, only to roll over the bank without breaking… and continue almost all the way in until they close out in shallow water. 5 – 6′ waves will form 4 rows of seemingly impenetrable whitewater, and after 40 minutes of futile paddling the smaller sets will still break 20m inside, and the bigger ones will still all break on your head. And you’ll be almost a kay offshore. 100m up the beach will be what appears to be a perfect A-frame, until you paddle over there… and it just disappears. At this point you will look back to where you just paddled from to see half a dozen perfect overhead walls just reel off mechanically. You have entered the realm of the “Holy Grail surf”, where you can see the perfect set up but never quite get near enough to touch it.

If that’s not enough to make you sell up and move to the South Coast of NSW, consider what it’s like on one of those very rare days with fine weather, clear green water, and surf mag poster waves. If the swell is big enough and from the right direction, and the sand is perfectly placed, you might spot  a dredgy little barrel inside Middleton Bay. You’ll also spot about 200 local grommets all over it. Off the point might also look fun… but the easy paddle means all nearby peaks will be chokkers with longboarders, learners, and learners on longboards. As you head along Surfer’s Parade past Day St. you’ll come across the first packed carpark, and at least two areas flagged off by surf schools. The next carpark has a toilet nearby, so this one is choked with incontinent day tripping senior citizens. Up at the Grassy Knoll there is of course, a longboard competition… and yet another on at Cliffs.

Somewhere amid the chaos though, you’ll think you have found a gap… and you’ll attempt to sneak out there.  You might even paddle out and find a moment’s solitude… which will last all of about thirty seconds.  As you paddle back out from your first wave, 10 guys will be sitting precisely where you took off. This will almost certainly attract several longboarders from neighbouring peaks. They will take all the set waves, but will be outgunned by two guys on 10′ malibus… but only until three stand-up paddle board riders muscle in and start picking up everything that moves. Just when you think it can’t get more ridiculous, a surf boat crammed with musclebound clubbies will come crashing through the peak sideways like an out-of control eighteen wheeler with no brakes, the sweep screaming “get the f*** outta the way, idiots!”. At this point, seasoned campaigners have been known to catch the next foam ball in and hobble up the beach, disgruntled and defeated… vowing never to return to such a god forsaken place.

For all its history and  folklore, the Maligned Coast is for the most part, a very mediochre place to surf. Sub tropically suntanned, smug expats have a saying: “…crap for six months of the year and onshore for the other six”. There are guys who have just never, ever turned left at the Hayborough roundabout heading into Victor, such is their disdain for it.  Yet over the last few months, stories have been filtering back… stories that fly in the face of the well earned reputation this coast has for woeful waves. 200m long walls a stone’s throw from Goolwa and makeable tubes at Cliffs with crystal clear water and well formed banks. Two weeks of offshores and nothing under three feet. You could laugh these stories off as exaggerations or anomalies, but the number circulating in the last month has observers wondering if we haven’t entered some drug-induced mass hysteria, or quite possibly, an Age of Aquarius confined to just 8km of beach.

In the last 25 years there must have been hundreds of very good days, but indifferent, and downright horrible days must number in the thousands. The last few months have not been all-time by any stretch, but given how patchy the months from July to October have been in recent years, it’s a welcome change. Often weeks may pass between half decent days, but up until mid October this year you could almost bank on one or two good days every week.

Most likely we’ll get our reality check soon enough, as Christmas crowds and days of South East slop again lead us to question what on earth makes us bother with the Maligned Coast. But I’ll have a little bookmark in the 2009 surf diary for Tuesday, September 29. Pretty much everyone I have spoken to that surfed that day agrees - it gets bigger… but it doesn’t get much better. Here’s a few pics snapped off under fading light as the sun sunk behind Victor.

Since April 2000 Surfsouthoz has delivered surf reports, pics, and surf news to South Australian surfers. Over that time we’ve established ourselves as the most reliable and longest running free surf report in SA - and created a respected brand along the way.

But we don’t just deliver surf reports and info… now we deliver surf gear… to your door!

Our online surf shop is the latest addition to the site, and we hope you’ll like what you see. If you don’t, tell us!

We are more focused on surf accesories and gear than fashion - we sell stuff to people like you… people who actually surf. So whether it’s a new set of fins, a replacement leash, deck grip, or a brand new wetsuit, we can sort you out. Not only that, we can also save you money through our special surfsouthoz mate’s rates referral program… so you can get the same gear for less, delivered!

You might have noticed some well known brands are not available on our site, but that’s not because we didn’t approach them. We can only conclude that those brands are not interested in backing “typical” surfers and surfing, and are run by accountants and shareholders. They have lost touch with grass roots surfing, and the people that built their multi-million dollar fortunes ( if you want you can find them in Westfield, fleecing fashion victims of their hard earned cash ).

But don’t worry, the surfsouthoz shop still has everything the recreational and travelling surfer really needs to get them out in the water. Our range is dynamic… we stock what you want us to stock, and we’re always frothing for new gear. We can also order in special items from our suppliers, so if you don’t see it listed on our site, ask us - most likely we can get it for you. If you’re sick of talking to spray-tanned princesses, or too kewl 4 skool wannabe surf stars in bricks and mortar shops, the surfsouthoz shop is where you need to go. Don’t waste any more time talking to jerks and paying too much!

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